Where your values or beliefs conflict with those of another person, it can be challenging, but it's possible to approach these situations with understanding, communication, and respect.
Firstly, it is important to understand your own values. Take time to clearly understand what your values are and why they matter to you. Self-awareness makes it easier to communicate your perspective. Not every value carries the same weight in every situation. Identifying which values are non-negotiable versus flexible helps in knowing where to compromise.
We also need to learn to listen actively. Focus on truly understanding the other person’s perspective, rather than immediately thinking about how to counter it. Instead of assuming their motivations, ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about why that’s important to you?” We also need to acknowledge their values, even if you disagree. You can say something like, “I see why this is meaningful to you.”
We can share our viewpoint without being aggressive or dismissive. Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel,” “I believe”) to avoid sounding accusatory. Sometimes value differences are about misunderstandings. Explaining the deeper meaning behind your values can make it easier for the other person to see where you're coming from.
Often, even in disagreements, there are shared values or goals. Focusing on these can help bridge the gap and build connection. In some cases, one may not be able to reconcile the differences. Acknowledging this, while committing to mutual respect, can still allow for a healthy relationship. If a value clash significantly impacts your mental well-being or is affecting your relationship negatively, it’s okay to set boundaries. You don’t have to compromise on your core beliefs. Even if a boundary is needed, ensure that it’s communicated in a way that maintains the dignity of both parties.
If a fundamental value is consistently disrespected or if the mismatch is too significant, it might be best to distance yourself from the relationship. This could apply to friendships, work situations, or even personal relationships. It’s important to accept that not all relationships will work out, especially when values are too divergent. Leaving gracefully, without resentment, can be liberating.
We may sometimes need to try to understand the other person’s life experiences or cultural background that shaped their values. This can help reduce frustration and foster empathy. Value mismatches can take time to navigate. Expecting instant resolution can increase tension. Give space for ongoing dialogue and growth.
Aligning with company principles while staying true to your own values can be challenging, especially when there is a clash. Sometimes, a clash may arise from a superficial understanding of either the company’s or your own principles. Take the time to explore the reasoning behind both.
Ask questions like:
· Why does the company prioritise this principle?
· How does this principle serve the company’s mission or long-term goals? You might find areas of alignment or compromise that you hadn’t initially considered.
We should find where our values and the company’s principles overlap. For example, even if the company emphasises profitability, you might find shared values in transparency or ethical business practices. Look for these points of convergence and focus your actions there.
If the misalignment is significant, consider having an open, respectful conversation with your manager or HR. Frame your concerns as opportunities for growth, and try to suggest alternatives that could honour both the company’s goals and your values.
In some cases, alignment might involve finding a compromise that allows you to uphold your core values without rejecting the company’s principles entirely. If the difference is minor, consider how much flexibility you have. Can you adapt in a way that doesn't undermine your integrity?
Sometimes we need to distinguish between core values and personal preferences. If it’s a matter of preference (e.g., work style or communication method), it may be easier to adapt. However, if it’s a core value, like honesty or respect, you may need to prioritise those even if it requires tough choices.
If the clash is fundamental and persistent, it might signal a deeper mismatch between you and the company’s culture. In this case, it’s worth reflecting on whether this is the right environment for your long-term professional growth. Staying in a situation that compromises your core values can lead to dissatisfaction or burnout.
If you feel strongly that the company's principles should evolve, you could try to become a positive force for change within the organisation. Influence others by leading with integrity, promoting dialogue, and sharing examples of how alternative approaches could benefit the company.
One can also engage with mentors or colleagues who can offer perspective on navigating these situations. They might have faced similar dilemmas and can provide insights on how to balance professional alignment with personal integrity.
One should also set clear boundaries around the values that are non-negotiable for you. While it’s important to align with the company’s vision, your personal boundaries should guide your decision-making and actions to ensure you don’t compromise on your integrity.
Balancing personal principles with company principles often involves negotiation, both within yourself and in your professional relationships. It’s key to stay open to dialogue and self-reflection, but never at the cost of your core values. In situations where the conflict feels unresolvable, seeking a better fit might ultimately serve your personal and professional wellbeing best.
As previously mentioned, mismatches between company and personal principles can arise when individual values clash with corporate culture or business practices. Examples of typical mismatches include the following:
Environmental Responsibility vs. Corporate Practices
· A company prioritises profit over environmental sustainability, engages in practices like excessive pollution, deforestation, or irresponsible waste disposal.
· An employee may value environmental sustainability and ethical business practices, leading to discomfort with the company’s disregard for eco-friendly methods.
Work-Life Balance vs. Company Demands
· The company culture expects long working hours, prioritises work above personal time, and offers little flexibility for family or personal commitments.
· The individual values work-life balance and personal time, believing that life outside of work is essential for well-being and productivity.
Profit Maximisation vs. Social Responsibility
· The company may focus purely on maximising profits, even if that means exploiting low-wage labour, compromising safety standards, or disregarding social responsibility.
· The individual may value ethical business, fair wages, and corporate social responsibility, wanting the company to prioritise more than just profits.
In most instances therefor, mismatches between the principles of a company and individuals can lead to employee dissatisfaction, burnout, or eventual departure if the misalignment is significant and cannot be reconciled.
Written By: Gerrit Jordaan